pink

I might not be a pink person, but I still do own at least 7 pink items in my room.

Falcon arch file, toy rose (gift), Forever21 hairclip, Marks & Spencers talcum powder, mini drawers, Breathe aromatherapy oil (from bf), accessories

Fruit Sandwicake

Having learnt that the past two birthday cakes (mine and mom's) ended up wastefully in the rubbish bin, I decided not to buy one for Davido's birthday last Tuesday. Besides, Davido isn't really a big fan of chocolate cakes or any sweet cakes in general. So I decided to prepare a cake-substitute. However, since I don't own any oven, this substitute must not involve any baking process. I was thinking of making cake-like sandwiches with lots of eggs (he loves eggs). When I shared this with my sister over the phone, she suggested making fruit sandwich cake, like the one featured in a Japanese manga, Delicious. She and I used to read Delicious series as if it was a bible. I even think she was a fanatic, I mean she compiled the recipes! Now, was she not?

Anyway, she emailed me the recipe - complete with self-painted illustration. She even blogged about it - how sweet of her! Thank you a kazillion, sis!

And...I made it! Yayyy! :D

It looked pretty good, huh? And surprisingly enough, it tasted good as well! I am so happy :)

Anyway, I'm going to share the recipe here:

Ingredients:

6 slices of white bread

100 gr margarine

2 tsp sugar

sweetened whipped cream

jackfruits

jambu air

peaches

longan

rockmelons

For decoration (what I used):

chocolate rice

Twister

Pocky

How to Prepare:

1. Scoop margarine (100 gr), which has settled at room temperature, into a mixing bowl. Add sugar (2tsp) and whisk evenly until it turns yellowish white.

2. Slice the fruits into bite-size.

3. Thinly spread (1) into each slice of bread. Arrange bite-size jackfruits on top of the first slice of bread so that it is evenly covered. Put another slice of bread on top of jackfruits. Similarly, arrange bite-size jambu air on top of the second slice of bread. Go on until you're done with the last slice of bread.

4. Lightly press the stack of fruit sandwiches at the centre with one hand and thinly cut each of the four sides with a knife. This is to both remove the dark edges of bread and make the fruits naturally visible. It should look like this:

5. Spray some whipped cream on the most top slice of bread. Spread it evenly to the top and each of the sides.

6. For decoration, neatly arrange the 5 different fruits on top slice of bread. Put the four Twister sticks at each side to make the four edges bolder.

And since it is Davido's 23rd birthday, I arranged the Pocky sticks in such a way:

Lastly, sprinkle some chocolate rice on top and at the sides. Voila!

7. Refrigerate for at least 30 minutes before serving.

Side notes:

a. Avoid using fresh white bread, as it would be too soft and would be difficult to cut the edges at (4). It is preferred to use white bread one day after it was produced.

b. You can use any of your favourite fruits, but it is preferred that they are of 5 different types and of different colours. If you want to use bananas, squeeze some lemon over them to lower the browning rate. If you want to use apples, immerse them with salt water to lower the browning rate, plus they make good combination of taste.

c. Use a slightly damp knife to spread (1) at (3) to prevent it from deforming the bread surface.

d. At (4) you might want to add the bite-size fruits accordingly to each layer by stuffing them from the sides to increase visibility.

e. For decoration, it is really up to your taste and preference. I would recommend using whipped cream, as it can be used flexibly.

That's it: home-made fruit sandwicake. Piece of cake, huh? It doesn't involve any baking or frying or boiling, and most importantly it is as simple as what you see eventually. Have fun trying! :)

bureaucracy

I may be going back home on second or third week of December, thanks to bureaucracy.

For me to apply for most jobs, I need a PR status.

For my PR application to be processed, I need to secure a job.

Anyway, I had secured a job and my PR application is being processed. At least it is, according to ICA. It should normally take about 3 months, they said. Meanwhile they provide me with a Temporary Employment Pass (TEP) of 3-month validity, which is basically a stamp on one page of my passport. The lady who issued the TEP and returned my passport to me told me verbally not to forget to renew my TEP at least 1 week before it expires.

Being a natural rule-follower, I neatly marked 18th November on my calendar to remind me to renew it. So on that day, I took a half-day off work and crammed myself inside the overcrowded MRT off to ICA. There was no queue, thank goodness. I passed my passport and a letter from my company to the officer sitting opposite me. Everything was okay until she looked at her calendar. She asked why I was here today. She said it was too early to renew. She exclaimed they could only renew not earlier than 3 days before the expiration date.

What the hell is wrong with these people? Seriously.

I said, slightly more defensive than I intended, that I was told to do so at least 1 week before expiration date. Davido was a living witness, although given our relationship, it might not be impartial. But again, why would I lie? 1 week or 3 days do not make any difference to me, do not impact me in any way, do they? The dates are indifferent to me. The bottom line is I have no motive.

They asked me to pinpoint the lady who told me so. It was almost 3 months ago, for Pete's sake. And it's not like the lady was extraordinarily beautiful or helpful that she left such an impression worth of remembering. She was a Chinese, that was all I told them.

They made me wait. A lady who wasn't in uniforms, which indicated she might be higher up in the hierarchy, showed up. She was almost friendly. She started by telling me how I was right bringing the company letter with me, many people apparently didn't. Then she went on with "but". She asked me if I worked on Saturdays. Bloody hell, I thought. I wondered if ICA opened on Saturdays. No, I was determined I was not going to come back there on Saturday, no matter what. So I hesitantly replied a no. But then I quickly continued saying, slightly less pleadingly than I intended, that I had already arranged with my company to get a half-day unpaid leave (which is the truth) today just for renewing this. Then she interrupted me, asking me back with a startled look on her face, unpaid? Bingo, right there I knew she was gonna let me in. I mean she should be wise enough to realize that no one would be dumb enough to risk a half-day pay for nothing beneficial. A little bit more of blablabla explaining that this was an exception, she eventually asked me to write a letter to explain my innocent premature renewal.

Just a side note. Being in B2B industry, doing what I do for a living, I should, and do, understand fully well the importance of "hitting" the right people. Of how talking to decision-makers is much more efficient and impactful than talking to those otherwise. The importance of tone and how it could transform to be a weapon. Of when to be firm and defensive, and when to be nice and respectful. I guess, Randy Pausch of The Last Lecture was right, no job is beneath you.

Anyways, I was relieved, but conflicts do not cease there. That is the thing about bureaucracy. There's always a disconnect within and between systems. Hence, conflicts.

I had been meaning to renew my passport, as it's going to expire at end of January next year. Yup, basically I'm a prisoner of this country. I can't travel overseas. Anyways, I thought I would renew it here after my PR has been settled. However, having learnt that PR application process nowadays take more time than it did before (not 3, but 4, 5, 6, or 7 months!), I know I have to renew it soon. However (again), I have also learnt from my friends that apaprently KBRI Singapore does not entertain TEP stamp holders to renew their passports.

I myself have called Immigration division of KBRI to confirm on this. You'd think having dealt with bitchy secretaries over the phone at work had increased my temper threshold, but then I lost my temper talking to that Immigration person. I explained to her my situation, but all she asked over and over again was what card I was holding. No matter how many times I explained that I had surrendered my green cards to apply for PR and was currently holding a TEP, all she asked was what bloody card I was holding. Pardon me, but she was one stupid moron.

What the hell is wrong with these people? Really.

Tell me if I was wrong to conclude that these people whose lives centred on RULES and only RULES have pittifully turned into programmed robots, only way less advanced. Even robots have "brain" and are supposedly created for the better of human beings. Now, tell me are these people not worse than robots?

Well, so why then KBRI rejected to renew our, TEP stamp holders', passports? Don't ask me because I had been wrecking my brain to find the logic behind it but I had come to nil. I mean first of all, the TEP stamp is a wholly legal article in the eye of Singapore Government, why then, would it not be to KBRI? Secondly, why on earth does Singapore identity is of so much importance that it becomes a deal-breaker, or rather, what does it have to do in the first place with an Indonesian passport that - nota bene - is a wholly legal property of Republic of Indonesia afterall?

You'd think by asking good questions you'd get at least decent answers.

Usut punya usut, apparently ICA used to produce a TEP card (not merely a stamp like today) to anyone whose PR application was being processed. And KBRI accepted this TEP - bloody - card to renew passports. With their attitude, I am assuming KBRI officers are still unaware of the change. That, or they choose to close their eyes, saving them troubles of changing the rules. How ridiculous. The decent answers I was looking for were actually a very lame one: we do and only do cards, we don't do stamps, sorry. Bloody freaking hell. Why would the physical appearences matter more than the meanings they convey? The stamp really is the bloody damn card. Can they not, for once, understand or at least try to understand? I am angry and disappointed.

Meanwhile, ICA extended my TEP for only another month. When I asked why it was so, they answered it was because my passport was expiring. That I needed to have it renewed before they could extend it for longer period. I understood this because there was no way they would stamp on an expired, and thus invalid, article, i.e. my passport. But none of this would be of any importance if they could get me my PR by end of this year. But oh I forgot, since when there is anything certain in bureaucracy? Of course they can't guarantee anything.

One way out was already out of question, that is to have my company apply employment pass for me. With that, I would be able to renew my passport, and I wouldn't need the TEP stamps any longer. However, due to some requirements that my company and I do not satisfy, it is impossible for the company to apply one.

So I was not only angry and dissapointed, but also stuck. It was a dead end. ICA turned its back on me, which was acceptable. But then KBRI did the same, now that was unreasonable and disappointing.

And here we go again:

For me to apply for most jobs, I need a PR status.

For my PR application to be processed, I need to secure a job.

For my TEP to be extended (while my PR is in process for God-knows-how-long), I need to renew my passport.

For my passport to be renewed here, I need a PR status (or some sort of cards).

And these disconnections and chicken-and-eggs conflicts would go on and on, thanks to bureaucracy. Sadly we just need to live with it. Or at least learn to live with it.

Anyways, that is why I may be going back home on December - to have my passport renewed. Let me see. It would cost me 5-day pay, two-way air tickets, certain amount of money to catalyze the passport renewal process (that's how it works back home, money does magic) and some emotional expenses.

So, I shall end this long post (it could almost pass as an essay, I guess) with a quote here:

"Bureaucracy is the art of making the possible impossible."

Javier Pascual Salcedo

And that, I think, is an understatement.

2012

Lama Zopa Rinpoche (Henry O): You shouldn't just believe in what others tell you.

Tenzin (Chin Han): I know, but my brother who is working on that ship told me. The world is going to end.

Lama Zopa Rinpoche: (Serving tea, pouring Tenzin's cup full, and then keep on pouring).

Tenzin: (Watching the overflow) Stop, stop! It is overfull. No more will go in.

Lama Zopa Rinpoche: Like this cup, you are full of your own opinions and speculations. In order for you to learn anything, you first need to empty your cup.

We were warned.

ain't no fairytale

When it comes to relationship, I know I am considered a lucky girl. In fact I have felt so lucky there are times I've been scared that I'd used it (luck, fate, or whatever it is) up at one point. I mean, as young as we were six, we had probably realized that life is no fairytale. When everything is going well and smooth, there has to be, must be, something bad that will surface out of something or even nothing. It sucks and is so not supposed to be, but annoyingly and perhaps frighteningly true. The question is no longer why, but when and how. Just the thought of it already makes my stomach somersault.

I used to think it's taboo to allow my mind registering bad things that would happen especially to myself and my loved ones. I was an optimist (when it comes to relationship). When I dreamt (regardless if it came true or not), my time frame was never in weeks, rarely in months - I saw years.

After these few years, I am still an optimist, but one who takes her umbrella. Heaven knows I am still hoping everyday would be perfectly bright and sunny, but then again it is nature's law to rain. I'm new to this and still figuring out what my umbrella would be. A trust as wholesome as whole grain bread? A loyalty as sound as a sleeping baby? A big heart as wide as football field?

I've got to admit though, that there have been times I've chosen to close an eye (or even both eyes) on those ugly things. Just absorbing and enjoying and treasuring the here and now. I guess it is okay to once in a (long) while keep your umbrella dry, and play under the rain and sing (It's Raining Men, perhaps) and dance like no one's watching instead.

But then again, even a six year old would understand too much of it would make you catch a cold.

I guess all I am saying is that perhaps it takes only luck to be lucky, but in order to continue being lucky, it takes efforts and strategies. Life ain't no fairytale, it takes pain to gain.

red

I don't know what struck me, all I know I'm in mood for red. I bought a red bandage skirt recently, and already I'm hunting for red shoes and red necklace.

Oh I'm prepared for some redness madness ahead ;)

Let Me Take You There

I know a place that we can go to

A place where no one knows you

They won't know who we are

I know a place that we can run to

And do those things we want to

They won't know who we are

Let me take you there

I wanna take you there

I know a place that we've forgotten

A place we won't get caught in

They won't know who we are

They won't know, won't know

I know a place where we can hide out

And turn our hearts inside out

They won't know who we are

Let me take you there

Take you there

Take you there

I know a place we'll be together

And stay this young forever

They won't know who we are

Let me take you there

Take you there

Take you there

We can get away to a better place if you let me
take you there

We can go there now cause every second counts

Girl just let me take you there

Take you there

a song by Plain White T's

Please, please do. Wherever it is.

My Sister's Keeper

If the only way to save your daughter was to sacrifice her sister, what would you do?


That is one tough question with even tougher answers, around which the storyline of My Sister's Keeper revolve.

I read this thoughtfully written novel by Jodi Picoult about a month ago. And I love reading it very much because this is not just another novel. It is impactful in its unique way - disappointing yet captivating - which was very carefully and rather naturally depicted through each of its characters.

Anyway, Davido and I watched the movie yesterday. The movie, although is based on Picoult's novel, shows a major deviation from the book. The ending is totally and utterly different, and not to mention there are some quite significant characters and parts in the book that are skipped in the movie, as well as there are some additional scenes in the movie that I did not recall reading it at all. Nonetheless, I think the changes were suitably made for the movie. I mean with the lack of the details that the book contains, it would be plainly too harsh and too depressing for the movie to adopt the same ending.

Despite the changes, the movie brought me (and other ladies in the theatre - I believe I heard muffled sobs now and then) into tears all the same. The part when Kate browsed through the scrapbook she made for her mother feeling guilty to everyone: "I don't mind my disease killing me, but it's killing my family, too." The part when Brian silently observed Kate all dressed up and was ready for the dance, when the pair of this father-daughter eyes met: "Do I look pretty, Daddy?" The part when they're all at the beach, emotionally reuniting as a family. The part when Sara browsed through the scrapbook from her daughter, finally letting go.

I say, if you've read the book, watch the movie. If you haven't, watch the movie - then read the book.